Insomnia

It has been awhile since I have posted on here, and due to insomnia here I am posting :)

Things are going great and hectic as usual. I am still seeing K, it has been a little over 2 months now. We tend to get into small arguments and have had some communication issues thus far, but I still want to see where it goes. According to many people it takes 4-6 months to completely get to know someone, I want to give him those 4-6 months, and once I really know him decide if it is as right as it feels when we are together, if that makes sense.

Alaina is getting so big, and is EXTREMELY independent (not at all like her mom, lol). She is taking after her dad and I both. We both are extremely independent, stubborn and have bad tempers. Our DNA should not have been combined, because the personality of this toddler is like no other. Thought often she is difficult and hard to handle, there are many times during the day where she will do something sweet that will make my heart totally melt. Below are a few examples:

1) Last week I said to her "hey dude where is ____", she responded to me, "I am not dude I am Lana!!!", in a totally dead serious toddler voice, it was cute as hell!

2) Randomly she will come up to me and give me a hug, and I will say "I love you Alaina", then she will look at me and say "I love you Mommy" and give me these cute little kisses

3) I will ask her everytime when we get in the car if she wants Alaina's music or Mommy's, lately she has been requesting Mommy's music. I will turn on my hip hop and she bops her head along and sings la-la-da-da at the top of her lungs, it's adorable!

So even though there are many times during the day when I want to just scream I am so frustrated with her tantrums and Independence, there are also these awesome sweet times, when I think how lucky I am to have such a smart, cute, and sweet 2 year old daughter. Right now we have been working on introducing Spanish into her vocabulary (her dad, daycare and I), so randomly throughout the day she will be like "seice, ocho, nueve" and I start laughing and say "Alaina you forgot seite", then she looks at me dead serious and will start from a totally different number.

Like I said things are going good. I still hate working 40 hours a week, but hey I have got to do what I have got to do to keep my daughter safe and healthy. I am tempted to take a break from school, but I know if I do, that the chances of me returning are way lower.

I am still wondering if I made the right choice a couple of months ago, but I am dealing with that on my own. Whatever happens in life happens, what is meant to be will be, I just need to keep reminding myself of that. I am missing the close friends and confidants I had in the fall. My friend from Miami is the only confident I have left who has time fore me. Actually, I have not had time for him the last month and I feel awful, but we made an IM date for tomorrow to catch up, so hopefully that goes well. I love having someone to talk to about anything and everything in my life without having to be embarrassed, ashamed, or worried about it getting back to anyone. Having such a close friend who lives half way across the country rocks!

Ok, enough of this random post. Goodnight to all but me :)